Casey J. Cornelius (00:05):
Hey everyone, and welcome to the latest episode of the ForCollegeForLife Podcast. My name is Casey Cornelius, and I’m the founder and president of ForCollegeForLife. And I also get the opportunity to interview our speakers and consultants, the people who make us, who we are about topics that they care about. This program is part of our Fast 15 series where we talk about a really important concept with one of our speakers or consultants. Yeah, it’s hard. Everybody struggles to do it in 15 minutes or less, but our promise to you is we’re gonna tackle this topic within that timeframe. Today, I am so fortunate to be joined by the 2021 -2022 Speaker of the Year, and just a genuinely awesome all around person to talk about something that’s super important to her, and also something that she cares so deeply about that she talks to others about as well. So my guess today is none other than Jessica Lundy and Jessica, here’s the big question of the day. Why is it so important to practice positive self talk?
Jessica Lundy (01:12):
Well, first I have to just say, Hey, everyone, I hope that you’re having a great day wherever you are in the world. So, positive self-talk has always been important to me. I remember when I was five years old I was often told that I had the gift of gap, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I, when I became a little bit older, I realized, Oh, man, that means I talk too much. But the good thing is, is my teachers would always say it meant Jessica’s so positive. She’s so encouraging, so uplifting. And I wasn’t born in the perfect circumstances. But I chose very early on to make sure that every time I opened my mouth, I was saying something that was positive that I was saying something that was uplifting, that I was saying something that I was encouraged. I truly believe that our words have power, and at the end of our end of the day, when we’re in our dark of situations, when we’re going through just the, the changes of life, we have to be our own cheerleader, right? And so sometimes we can be the one saying the most negative things to ourselves in the mirror where we can be the hardest person on it, on ourselves. And I realize that doesn’t benefit anybody. So I try to encourage people all over the world to use their words, to uplift themselves, to uplift everyone else, and it literally costs nothing. To give yourself a compliment and to give someone else a compliment as well.
Casey J. Cornelius (02:47):
You know, my guess is Jessica, in, in knowing you like I do, and I’m gonna pull back the curtain here just a little bit, my guess is that while, and by the way, I had the gift of G when I was young too. It didn’t feel like a gift when I was getting in trouble, trouble for it, but <laugh> had the gift of camp when I was young. My guess is that who you are today and your perspective on this has evolved over time as well. And, and it’s probably been, you know, something that you’ve, you’ve earned, like earned this perspective over time. Can you kind of talk about your evolution of this idea of positive self-talk and, and affirmations?
Jessica Lundy (03:24):
Absolutely. You know, I, I really believe that affirmations saved my life. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety my senior year in high school, and that was really challenging, going from being one of the most popular girls in the school captain of the cheerleading team, right? You know, which makes so much sense for me. I’m always encouraging the team and encouraging the school, and then getting diagnosed with depression and kind of going into this place of sadness. And I remember one day being in my dorm and just being like, Enough is enough. And I realized that I had to speak words of affirmations to myself, whether I believe them or not. So I started to say a simple phrase that I teach the students all across the country not today. I’ve got this not today to self doubt, not today, to limiting beliefs, not today, the imposter syndrome.
Not today, to the naysayers and the haters. I’ve got this. And so, as I deal with different challenges in my life I believe that I have the power to build myself up. I’ve come to a place where, you know, I think it’s great. I think everybody should have a mentor, a coach, a supporter, a therapist, you know, somebody in your corner that can support you. But at the end of the day, you gotta use your words to empower yourself. And that’s really what helped me to overcome some of the mental health challenges that I was having. And just real life, you know, on a day to day basis. I had to encourage myself, you know, the weather’s, you know, not the best outside, right? You know, it’s like, Oh, I’m in. It’s a rainy day. I can choose to say, Man, you know, this sucks.
I had, I planned to go walking outside, or I could choose to say, You know what? Today’s gonna be a great day in spite of whatever happens in spite of, you know, walking, waking up on the wrong side of the bed, right? And in spite of anything negative that happens, I’m choosing on purpose to have a great day, which is a mind shift. And then I’m going to use my words to remind myself of the mindset shift I decided to have, right? So, I believe that our words will take us even a step further than the mind shift. We have to be successful on a day to day basis.
Casey J. Cornelius (05:34):
You know, sometimes I wonder what the sound bite of an individual podcast is. And I, I think you just, you just gave it there. I think you know, I, I guess the phrase that comes to mind, and it’s not a perfect one, but it’s like a, almost like a fake until you make it right? Like, you have to say this until you believe it to be true. Am I hearing you say that correctly?
Jessica Lundy (05:53):
Hundred percent. I remember when I used to work on tv I loved being a TV host. It was my dream job since I was five years old. But the reality was I was kind of <laugh> kinda set up to fail, you know what I mean? I ended up working at a TV station where they hired one person to do the job of like 20 people. And so I realized if I wanted to keep my job I had to say words of affirmations every day to build myself up, right? To be what everybody wanted Jessica Le to be. And so I created these audio affirmations because I needed to hear right that I was amazing. I needed to hear that my coworkers wanted me to be successful. I needed to hear these things every day so that by the time I got to work, I was like, Bet I can do this.
Right? And so I always tell people, Yeah, you hear the affirmations, you’re like, Yo, I don’t really believe what she’s saying. I don’t really get it. But then you start saying it over and over again, and it starts to get in your subconscious, and this starts to get in your heart. And then you’re, you get crazy enough to believe it, right? You get to the point where it’s like, Yo, what if, what if I can be a millionaire? You know, what if I can be the top of my class? What if I can be the first person in my family to graduate college? What if this, what is gonna hurt me, right? What is it? What does it hurt me to say these things, right? And I, I’ve just hurt testimonies from literally thousands of people after presentations and coaching sessions, literally say like, Man, I didn’t think those a were gonna change my life, but they did. And so I just encourage people to just give it a shot and stick with it, right? It’s just like anything else. It, it’s a exercise. It’s, it’s a principle. It’s a strategy, it’s a tool. And it’s all about how you use your tools.
Casey J. Cornelius (07:38):
If you are just hearing Jessica for the first time in this podcast, I invite you to go check out her programs forcollegeforlife.com/jessica-lundy, That’s Jessica dash Lundy. And there’s a reason that she has been so sought after there’s a reason that she’s a speaker of the year, because I, I think you can hear just even in the last 10 minutes or so not only is this something that she talks about, but it’s something that she lives as well. I, I guess I want to ask just a, a philosophical question for you. You know, if, if we have the choice to either speak positive into ourselves or speak negative into ourselves, why do you think it is that all of us are so good at speaking the negative things like the, the, the conversation that’s going on between many of our ears? We often say things that we would never say to anyone else. Like, why do you think we choose those things?
Jessica Lundy (08:32):
I honestly think because we’re looking at our current circumstance. And so when you’re looking right in front of you, right? You can only see what you can see. So you might look at your bank account and say, Ma, my bank account doesn’t really reflect somebody who’s successful. Or you might look at your current grades and say, Man, I need to bring my grades up, or I need to do this. We just need to get in the habit of looking further, right? We need to look six months out, a year out, five years out. And so a lot of times when I’m encouraging myself, I’m encouraging myself from Jessica five years from now, So I, I see what’s possible for myself, and I’m attracting that into my life like a magnet. So I think if we can start to think big picture instead of so present, so current and there’s a stretch, right?
It, it is a stretch. But I am a witness, a living witness of somebody who spoke different things, whether it was financial goals, whether it was success goals, different things I wanted in my life, relationships, and traveling around the world, like all the stuff I attracted into my life. And at the moment, I couldn’t see it, right? It didn’t seem possible for me or somebody with my background, but I decided I’m just going to get from out of my comfort zone. I’m gonna step out and see what the world has for me. And I’ve been very fulfilled with, with everything I’ve received as a result of having that mindset shift.
Casey J. Cornelius (09:58):
By the way, if you think that this is a put on, it’s not, go ahead and follow Jessica, Jessica, London TV on Instagram, You will see there’s a whole lot of positivity that she’s putting out into the world as well. Jessica, I’m gonna ask you the question that I think if if a student or professional were, were in this conversation and they were pushing back on you, I, I think that they would probably talk a little bit about the discomfort that that change is going to occur. Or maybe even in relationships, right? Like, if you’re surrounded by people who are not positive and affirmational and, and driven and all that other kind of stuff, you’re gonna have to change some, some patterns. What would you say to that person who’s like, But I don’t know if I can do that.
Jessica Lundy (10:36):
Oh, you can absolutely do it. I actually have a new program called networking like a Boss. And so I talk about that famous quote that people say that you are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. And so I encourage people in that program to list all of their friends. I want y’all to do this. I want y’all to be action takers. List all of your friends that you have, if they feel like a positive influence in your life, gonna put that positive, that sign next to it. If they are a negative person, every time you’re doing something great, every time you’re doing something extraordinary, every time you’re trying to do something outside of your comfort zone, and man, they just feel like, man, they are so negative, and you’re gonna put a negative. And then you have to evaluate if the people that are the closest to you are enhancing your life, or they’re putting you a step further back.
And so I realize that I try to associate with people that are similar to me, right? Not necessarily similar in terms of lifestyle or background or any of that, but more or less mindset, right? So I try to surround my people myself around people that don’t complain that are not lazy that people that really push themselves, You know what I’m saying? Yep. Cause if you surround, let’s be honest, y’all, if we surround ourself by people that’s like, Oh, I’ll put it off, off tomorrow, type of people, right? Or it’s just like, Oh, you know, in an ideal world, I love to do that, then you’ll start becoming that. You start to become a little bit too lax with your life, right? And so I take life so serious, right? If we’ve learned anything over the last few years, is, is really to understand the importance of life, understand the importance of breath in our lungs.
And I get 200% every day I wake up. So if you’re thinking like, Man, how do I do this? Is this gonna be uncomfortable? I promise you it’s gonna be uncomfortable. But it’s gonna pay off. And one or two things are gonna happen. Either your friends are gonna step up or they’re gonna step outta your life. But the good thing is, once those people step outta your life, then you leave room, right? For great people, like-minded people to come into your life, and they could be a blessing to you, and they can enhance your life.
Casey J. Cornelius (12:44):
I’m almost sure that you’re the person that heard say this for the first time, but if not, I’m gonna give you credit for it anyway. There are gonna be, they’re gonna be times that people are gonna look at you and say, You’ve changed. And your answer should be, Yes, I have
Jessica Lundy (12:56):
<Laugh>. Yes, I have. And
Casey J. Cornelius (12:57):
That’s okay. And that’s okay, right? Like, it’s, it’s absolutely change and grow and get better. And like you said, either people are going to to catch up to that, or they’re going to find their way out the door. Jessica, I, I don’t know how to say this other than to say thank you. I, I, I love, by the way, I, I’m gonna pull back the curtain a little bit more. Jessica and I have these conversations when they’re never being recorded. I love that
Jessica Lundy (13:21):
We have the opportunity
Casey J. Cornelius (13:22):
To hit record and share this with the world. So please, folks, yes, if you have not yet listened to Jessica’s first full podcast episode, it will be linked here in the description. But also, please make sure that you check out her page for college for life.com/jessica Lundy, follow her on Instagram, Jessica Lundy tv. And there’s a lot of great things happening in her world. I won’t spoil them. Go, go, go follow her on Instagram. You’re gonna see some good stuff. Jessica, thank you so much for our conversation today.
Jessica Lundy (13:52):
Yeah, thank you guys. And remember, you’ve got that.
Casey J. Cornelius (13:56):
I’m loving. We’re just gonna leave with that. You’ve got this. We’ll talk to you all soon. Thank you.