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ForCollegeForLife Podcast Ep. 15: Dar Mayweather

TRANSCRIPT

Casey Cornelius (00:02):

Hey everyone. And thanks for listening to the latest episode of the, ForCollegeForLife podcast. My name is Casey Cornelius. I’m the founder for college for life, and I’m thrilled to be able to host a series of interviews with members of our team, our speakers and our consultants, the people who really make us who we are. Today I have the great opportunity to chat with Dar Mayweather. And one of the things that I have found in all of these interviews is that regardless of how long I’ve known these individuals, I always learn something new. So if you feel like, Hey, I’m, I’m learning something new about each, each member of the team I do too. I feel the exact same way. Dar and I have gotten to work together for years and years, but I’m positive. I’m going to learn new things today as well.

Casey Cornelius (00:47):

Before I bring him to the mic though, let me go ahead and give you a little bit of information about him and his bio. So Dar Mayweather serves as the founder of doing the good work.com. He’s also a leadership studies faculty member at the university of North Carolina Wilmington. He helps his students confidently engage in critical conversations around leadership diversity and college success. Dar is a first generation college student here earned a bachelor’s of science degree in criminal justice. A master’s of science degree in education is pursuing a doctoral degree in educational leadership. He has over 15 years of leadership experience within higher education business and diversity and inclusion. His professional journey began in corporate, but then he transitioned to mental health and now higher education. He believes in fast tracking his students learning by utilizing research and lived experiences to develop actionable goals. He’s coached students who are now world travelers, doctors, lawyers, engineers, business leaders, and more that’s really cool. Dar engages students in uncomfortable conversations that matter utilizing reflective worksheets activities. He helps students and staff share authentically across diversity without centering shame, blame or guilt. He and his family live in North Carolina. He’s been a speaker in consultant for years and years and years. He’s just genuinely one of the nicest people that you’ll get the opportunity to meet. So without any further ado, let me go ahead and break Dar Mayweather to the mic. Dar, thanks for joining today.

Dar Mayweather (02:21):

Thank you Casey, for having me just hearing you read that one, you have an amazing voice, like you have an amazing microphone voice and, and just, it, it kind of made me emotional knowing where I come from and knowing some of the, the battles that I’ve had and knowing that some of the students that are probably listened to this have had some battles, have overcome some things. And now to be in a position where I’m getting a doctoral degree, have a couple children have built my house from the ground up, have a loving relationship with my wife. I’m just thankful.

Casey Cornelius (03:03):

Oh man. It’s, it’s a pleasure. I, you know, I always joke, first of all, thank you for the compliment on the voice. It’s it’s hard to impress speakers with a voice, right? So I, I always jokingly say that I certainly have a face that’s made for radio and that’s, that’s that’s for sure.

Dar Mayweather (03:18):

For sure. That’s good. I like that. That’s good.

Casey Cornelius (03:20):

Dar, I think, I think you and I share a similar origin story but I’m, I’m curious if you’d be willing to share kind of where your, where your roots are and where your life journey began.

Dar Mayweather (03:34):

Yeah. Oh my you know, from born and raised in grand rapids, Michigan and second largest city in Michigan lots of folks, you know, know and love grand rapids for what it is today. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> that is not the grand rapids that I grew up in. The grand rapids I grew up in the downtown area was full of homeless people. It wasn’t the, like the, I guess, popping, you know, bar hopping, you know, work prize college student friendly area that people know today. <Laugh> lots of abandoned buildings downtown and those things. And so really a lot of navigating black community grew up in a, all black community, went to all black schools had a really strong family upbringing. So, you know, the Mayweather family is one of the families that, you know, is I guess, a pretty famous family around rapids.

Dar Mayweather (04:37):

So growing up with the expectation that you’re gonna be great growing up with the expectation and no matter what you run into, you need to make sure that you’re getting education. You need to make sure that you’re focused on your future. And you’re gonna be doing something that is gonna contribute to the world. You know, all of our, all of my cousins, I feel like are in that type of space. As an entrepreneur I would be honest and say like, I’m not the, I’m not a first generation entrepreneur. And I always felt that that was something in me. I just didn’t know what was my thing until, you know, I recognized that growing up in the Bible school that I grew up in, the religion I grew up in, I would literally be called up to speak from the ages of four all the way until I graduated high school randomly any Wednesday, Friday or Sunday, <laugh> for two hours. You just sitting there at first, I’m like sitting there like, am I going to be called up? I don’t want to be called up today. <Laugh> let me just read the scripture. And that’s really was my introduction to speaking. And I’ll tell you, I wasn’t the best speaker, but growing up in a church like that, or a Bible school like that, I’ve seen the sweaters, I’ve seen the yells. I’ve seen the spits. I’ve seen <laugh>, I’ve seen it all. Yes,

Casey Cornelius (06:02):

Yes, yes.

Dar Mayweather (06:04):

Right. And so, you know, that was kind of the thing that gave me the motivation to be like, wow, I’ve been around speakers my entire life. Not only have I been around them, my mom is a speaker, my aunts, my uncles, my brother. I think my brother is probably one of the best speakers I’ve ever seen. Speak on religion, the energy that he brings, the passion, the, the drive. I mean, he’s a sweater too. So he puts it all out there, right? Like the et of like, oh, if you don’t know, et like Eric Thomas of, of like our religion, you know, in my eyes. And so I, that kind of gave me the confidence to say like, Dar, like you’ve been around people who do this your entire life. And I think that’s the thing that I think folks don’t think about when we’re thinking about pursuing postgraduate success or pursuing whatever it is that you wanna pursue in colleges, what really makes up your magic is the thing that you grew up around your family, your friends, the, the thing that they do right. Makes up your magic. And so that was a part of that for me.

Casey Cornelius (07:17):

It’s, it’s interesting to hear too, that you were getting reps as a speaker without even thinking about it. Right. One of the things that, that I find a lot is, and I’m sure you do too, is you hear people say like, oh, I wanna be a speaker. You’re like, great. Like that’s, that’s awesome. First of all, it’s awesome. Because when Americans are pulled, the number one fear among most Americans is public speaking. So when people say like, I wanna be a speaker that’s, that’s like, that’s cool. But then you start asking, like, what is your experience? No, no, no. I just think it would be something that would be fun to do. But from the time you were four years old, you were getting experience without even <laugh> maybe knowing it or wanting to do you, do you find that that has made the transition a little bit easier to, you know, not having sort of that that fear associated with speaking?

Dar Mayweather (08:04):

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And it’s so funny because people associate public speaking with getting up on a stage in front of thousands of people and having to make them laugh and cry and, and feel all these emotions right. Beyond just happy, sad, mad. Right. <laugh> right. Right. And I think public speaking or speaking in general as a youth, especially is the time that you got up in front of your grandma and GRA, you know, aunties and uncles and was dancing, right. Yep. When they said, Hey, why don’t y’all play a competition? Why don’t, y’all go outside and do a, a skit for us. Right. Or why don’t, y’all act like you know, back in my day, you know, we, we did a little new edition <laugh> oh, yeah. Situation, right. Yeah. You know, and of course I’m, I’m not the lead singer, you know, <laugh>

Casey Cornelius (08:57):

Not Bobby Brown. No, no, no, yeah, yeah.

Dar Mayweather (08:59):

Right, right, right. You know, I’m in the background, right. I’m not Ralph trans, you know what I mean? <Laugh>, I’m not Johnny. Right. <Laugh> but those are the experiences that I think people should be leaning on when thinking about trying to get the confidence to do this, like, is there any time in your life when you were a child that you just got up in, when you were going outside to play with the kids and you was the person that maybe said, no, we maybe shouldn’t do that. All the attention was on you. And so now you had to get the buy in on why we shouldn’t do that. Or maybe you was the problem child, right? Yes. And you was like, we’re gonna do that. <Laugh> yes. Now all the attention is on you to decide what we are going to do. That’s the same thing. When we’re talking about speaking, the attention’s on you, cuz you have an idea, something in your head and you envision it. Right. And your goal is to make it plain to other people.

Casey Cornelius (09:59):

That, that candidly was me. I, I was, I was the <laugh> I was practicing leadership at a, at a young age. And fortunately fortunately paths changed just a little bit. We, we glossed over something. I would be Ress if I didn’t ask star, I’m sure you get tired of hearing this. You referenced Mayweathers grand rapids. Yeah. I guess inquiring minds need to know which, which famous Mayweather comes from grand rapids that people might be familiar with.

Dar Mayweather (10:30):

A few of ’em, but there there’s there’s there’s the one, right? Sure. and absolute the one, right. The best ever Floyd Mayweather Jr. Money Mayweather, pretty boy Floyd, you know, in its earlier career. That is my cousin. We share great grandmothers so a little distant they’re our grandfathers, our brothers. And so it, it is, it is an honor. I mean, to be totally honest, I don’t know. ’em I I’ve only met him a few times in my life. Big Floyd is actually somebody who I know very well. And somebody who sold a lot of seeds in me, you know, and I would even say his grandmother more than any of them was at every open house, every single event that I had, she was the one she’s a straight shooter, you know? I, Bernice was like the one who was like, I expect great things from you. And she showed up because she expected it <laugh>, you know, it wasn’t no if ands and buts about it. And so I’m thankful to have that foundation you know, because that’s, that’s a part of who we are. That’s a part of why we, we contribute to the world in the ways that we do and why we have the attitude and the way and the persistence in the way we do. It’s just from our upbringing.

Casey Cornelius (11:53):

And, and I, I imagine, and again, I don’t wanna spend too much time on this topic, but I imagine that, you know, growing up with that last name, maybe you got tested a time or two as well.

Dar Mayweather (12:03):

So, you know, I’ll be honest with you. I actually changed my last name at 30 years old. And so <laugh> identity, you know, we talking about, we talking about inclusion, we talk about leadership. We, you know, that’s the thing that I love to do with students. Identity is important, identity matters. And I remember being 18 years old when my mom decided to change her last name from Johnson, which is her married name to Mayweather. And I asked her, I was like, I wanna change my name too. And she was like, well, I don’t want you to disrespect your father. I don’t want him to feel like he’s not important in your life where he’s really wasn’t that active in my life anyways. And so I end up even asking my grandfather who act, who’s actually been a father figure in my life, like the person who taught me how to fix the toilet, the person who taught me how to Mo the lawn, the person who taught me how, or showed me how to start a, a grill fire, right?

Dar Mayweather (13:09):

Like my grandfather was the one who woke up, woke me up every Saturday morning to do chores and to go out and pick up trash and to go out and shovel snow or plow snow with him. I asked him, can I, you know, would you be okay with me taking your last name? And he said, no, <laugh>. He said no. And it wasn’t until I really sat down with him, you know, before I was about to have my first child. And I was thinking in my head, like, is this the name that I want to pass on? Is this the legacy that I wanna pass on? And after having that conversation with my grandfather, he said, let’s do it. And so he went to the courthouse with me. We both signed up on the paperwork to make, to change my last name to Johnson. I mean, from Johnson to Mayweather before my first son was born.

Casey Cornelius (14:06):

See, this is when I say I, I learned things in these conversations that I didn’t know, this is one of those as well. And, and, you know, I know a lot of your work is on identity. And I imagine that that was a major identity shift to you. I don’t wanna call it later in life cuz 30 by no means, especially to the young folks, listen to this by no means is later in life. But I imagine that that was a pretty, pretty dramatic change for you too.

Dar Mayweather (14:30):

Oh, wow. So my, my best friend, he, he calls it the the top three rebranding of all time. <Laugh> he? He says it’s it’s, it’s it’s Gucci. Right? Cause Gucci lost a lot of weight after he, you went to jail, came back. He just was like a fit cut action. Two chains. So if you know anything about two chains, his name used to be ti boy, right? That’s his name with and then me and everybody talks about the, of my development. Everybody talks about how Dar has become somebody different than what we know Dar to be or have known him to be. And I think for me, I can respect that and understand that because I felt the weight of who I really was beyond just the name. It’s the reputation that now I’ve been a part of the family, my entire life.

Dar Mayweather (15:38):

So let’s, let’s just be clear, like, right, right. I, I have not changed family <laugh> right. But the label, right. We talk about those things in identity. We talk about things in inclusion, labeling matters. Yep. Is the same with, you know, we go to the store, why do we buy the toothpaste that we bought or why we buy the toothbrush that we buy? Or why do we buy the fruit that we buy? Or why do we buy the tissue that we labels matter? And that was something that I wasn’t practicing in my own life until I had that revelation of the label that I was passing down to my son. And so that was yeah, that was, that was a part of that conversation

Casey Cornelius (16:27):

F seriously fascinating. And, and you, you referenced labels and I, I do want to ask you about kind of, kind of top line bio but also top line in terms of, you know, your professional identity and, and that is the founder of doing the good work. Yes. Can you talk a little bit about doing the good work and, and what that means to you?

Dar Mayweather (16:47):

Yeah, yeah. You know, I think one of those things that inspired me was one finding somebody that I wanted to be like. And so as I go through my career in higher education, I was honestly fed up. I felt disrespected in my position as a student affairs, you know, coordinator I, my career, wasn’t moving at the same trajectory as my peers that I graduated from my master’s program with and going into spaces, people felt like I had something to say. And so I would be invited to schools, churches departments, and on campus on off campus to just talk. And I had a child come to me, maybe sixth, seventh grade, and talked about how he was micro regressed in the classroom and how nobody did anything. And these are professionals, right? These are people with degrees. These are people with bachelor’s masters, doctorate level degrees in these schools, and they don’t how to deal with the microaggression. And so I was like, maybe I need to create something that can be a resource for inclusive leadership education for these organizations. And so, as I am, you know, still doing my job, I’m still searching the people that I want to be like. I come across the Reverend, Dr. Jamie Washington ends up going to his Institute, ends up bringing it to my campus. And the last thing that he said on his speech was let’s keep doing the good work that matters. And it just stuck.

Dar Mayweather (18:26):

Right. It, it just, it just landed with me. And I look up doing the good work.com to see if it’s available. It’s available. I look up doing the good work to see if it’s a LLC. It’s not a LLC. I look it up. But you know, like I’m, I’m looking it up to see, wow, is this really my calling? And I believe that one of the things that transformed me the most, especially as a 19 year old RA who never had any diversity training up until the point I micro regress somebody else that really helped me see, I wasn’t the leader that I thought I was. And so instead of trying to go out and be great, can I, can I just be good? Like, can I just be good enough to do good work in community that make people feel like they belong? And it just all made sense. And so there you go doing the good work,

Casey Cornelius (19:20):

You know, it, it’s one of those titles star that I, I think you can read it two ways. And I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about this. If you have, maybe this is, I apologize for going down this rabbit hole. Like you can either read it as doing the good work or doing the good work. And I think in my mind, I always default to the work of good. Is that how you see it too?

Dar Mayweather (19:44):

Mm. Say more. I’m interested. I’m, I’m learning more. <Laugh> I wanna, I want, wanna hear more about, would you think

Casey Cornelius (19:51):

The, the interviewer becomes the interview? This is fun. No. So, so I think that like the work for good, especially, I, I know with a lot of your work, especially related to diversity, equity and inclusion is work toward writing things that have been wrong for a very long time and getting them from a place of, I, I hate to use really basic labels like this, but like from bad to good. And that’s, that’s not a, that’s not a light switch, right? Like it doesn’t just flip on and flip off. It’s not like that. So there’s a, there’s a progressive element of it in terms of where we are and where we want to be. That work process is toward good. That’s always the way I’ve, I’ve heard it and read it and so forth. But I’m curious if that’s, if that’s the way that you think of it too.

Dar Mayweather (20:41):

Yeah. I, I do. I do. I, I believe that it’s important to start where we are. Right. And to, to have the self awareness to say, I may not be where I thought I was at it. It’s, it’s similar to kind of like, I, I like to say how people say, like lose yourself in the sub of others. Mm. I, I kind of like to say, find your inclusive self in the service of others. Right? Like really put yourself in a position that scares you to do good work with a community that you might not be fully aware of. Right. And that’s what the work has done for me. That’s how I got to doing good work was being in a community and being myself. Right. Trying to be kind, trying to be charismatic, trying to be understanding, but also recognizing I have a lot of learning to do. And so I’m not taking up space. I’m not, I’m asking questions. I’m, I’m trying to my best to be a resource, but also I’m trying my best to create community that allows people to be right. To make a mistake. Because what we know is that a learning community, you can make mistakes.

Casey Cornelius (22:05):

Right. That’s, that’s the very, like, that’s the point. Right?

Dar Mayweather (22:09):

Right.

Casey Cornelius (22:11):

You know, one of the things, and I’m, I’m not sure if I’ve heard you say it, this this precisely, but I, but I say this in my own work as well is I am not a perfect messenger in fact, far from it. Right. And, and maybe it is in that realization and the recognition of imperfection that I can acknowledge that I’m, I’m on this journey with you, right? Like mine, specifically men in masculinity, your work around diversity, equity and inclusion. Do you think that there’s a certain humility that comes along with saying, I I’m not, I’m not a perfect messenger telling you exactly what to do. I’m someone who is, is aiming toward that. Therefore I can help you in the process.

Dar Mayweather (22:53):

Woo. Woo. You know and I’m working on this. So, so work with me here. Right? Follow me here. As y’all listen to this, follow me, I’m trying my best to put up more windows and less mirrors. Okay. So, so kind of follow

Casey Cornelius (23:11):

Me, right? Say, say, say that one more time. Go ahead.

Dar Mayweather (23:13):

I I’m trying my best to put up more windows and less mirrors. And what I really mean by that is like, when, when we are, when we are doing inclusion and we have a mirror up, we are seeing ourselves, right. We’re, we’re making sure that we’re blemishless right. We’re making sure that we got the, the spinach out of our teeth, or we got the makeup over our scars. And when that, when I applied at the inclusion, what I see is people are looking for people who look like them, who talk like them, who walk like them, who think like them who act like them. Right. And the problem is when we are operating in a, in we’re trying to operate is inclusively. What we are doing is creating more homogeneous community when we have the mirror, right. The goal is to put up more windows.

Dar Mayweather (24:18):

And so not only am I able to say, wow, like, I, I can kind of see myself, but I can really see who’s out in the community. Right. I cannot hide what I am and who I am from the person on the other side of the window. Right. They can see me just as well as I can see them. And I think that’s what we want when we’re talking about inclusion is we need to put up more windows because the reality is when we’re putting up mirrors, what we’re saying is we’re afraid to be vulnerable. Right. We are afraid to show people that we went through stuff.

Casey Cornelius (25:01):

Right.

Dar Mayweather (25:02):

But when we, as a window, people can see you in your draws. You <laugh> people.

Casey Cornelius (25:09):

I’m so sorry. Yes. I’m so sorry. That’s true. Yes.

Dar Mayweather (25:12):

Right. They can see your E your, every move, your very action. And if it feels inviting, they can see if they can come to the door. If that makes any sense.

Casey Cornelius (25:25):

It does. No, no, no. And, and I guess I’m, I’m gonna ask you to step back a little bit, and I know this is not your nature to, to be critical, but you’ve been talking about DEI work for a, a, a long time and, and candidly, and listen, we need more people at the table. No doubt about it, but you’ve been talking about it for in time and duration that, that other people now are, are just kind of coming to the conversation and, and maybe acting like they’ve been there for a very long time. Do you think that some of your perspective on this is a maturity of not only your personal lived experience, but also your professional lived experience too?

Dar Mayweather (26:08):

That that’s a, that’s a really good question. I think my perspective comes out of my desire to continue growing and transforming. And, and so this, this is what I’ll say is I, I had no idea that diversity equity inclusion that this diversity inclusion work was the calling only thing I could tell people was when I first started this journey was there were people who were doing this work, who I allowed to correct me. And I think that’s important, right? Like, I think it’s, it’s important for us to find people that we see ourselves in, but also find people who are, we allow to see us and change us. And so this work transformed me the most out of high school, middle school, right? Like the, I mean, I got a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice graduated and didn’t get a single interview in the field.

Dar Mayweather (27:21):

Right. The work transformed me because as a RA, I got a chance to see a diversity speaker that looked like me was a black male, engaging people in conversations that I had never seen happen before. Right. And I think it was also seeing that in higher education, there were black men on a campus that were doing a job, very similar to what I was doing, but was getting paid full time. Right. And so they knew how to speak the language. They knew how to navigate the conversations. And so as a black male, not having direction, right. Not getting a chance to work in the field of study that I was in, there was confusion all over me. And so the only thing that I can tell people that I knew how to do was work on a campus. Right. That’s what my resume said for sure.

Dar Mayweather (28:17):

Right. Right. And so there was, yeah, I will say for sure, we moved into maturity once I got a chance to become a professional, got a chance to really dive deeper into the work, got a chance to read, got a chance to write, got a chance to watch video got a chance to network. But I think before all of that, it was confusion. And instead of running from it, I ran towards it. Yeah. I didn’t, I didn’t wanna be afraid. You know, how can we say that? We are like, and this is me again hyper masculine still kind of have misogynistic ways. Right? Like man, man, man type of guy, right. I’m still this guy at, you know, maybe 20, 21 years old when I’m deciding to make my transition in the higher ed. And I didn’t want to act like I was scared.

Dar Mayweather (29:09):

<Laugh> like just right. Yes. You know, like, I’m like, yo, like I’m, I’m 21 years old. Like I done, I done seen my brother. I done seen my brother with bullet holes in his body at, you know, 13 years old. I done, I done witnessed and had a gun pulled to my head, walking home from school, but I’m gonna be afraid of some words, <laugh>, you know, I’m be afraid of some definitions, like nah, and leaning into that, I guess, machismo attitude really got me to thinking about who I really was. It got me a chance to reflect on and self-assess continuously who I, how I’m actually showing up how are my behaviors and attitudes impacting people who are different. And similar to me

Casey Cornelius (30:04):

For those of you who are listening, who, who aren’t yet familiar with Dar and his work. First of all, please visit for college for life.com/dar speaking workshops, retreats, consulting, all that other kind of stuff. Dar I, I know on your personal journey, we, we share something. I don’t even know if I’ve ever told you this. So I vividly remember my first job on a college campus as well, being as a resident advisor.

Dar Mayweather (30:28):

Yay.

Casey Cornelius (30:30):

And I remember showing up to those first trainings and being like someone here is going to find out that I don’t, I don’t belong here. Like, I don’t know, a first generation student, all, all they told me is one, you could live on campus for free and two, they would pay for the meal plan and I was like, sign me out. And

Dar Mayweather (30:46):

They told you not to say that in the interview. Right,

Casey Cornelius (30:48):

Right. Right. But, but, but that was it. Like, to me, it was like, wait for free. That just, just blew my mind. But you know, we talk about the importance of workshops and we talk about the importance of trainings. And we talk about the importance. Like I know in your work specifically for, for residents life, it was really a, a training, a workshop that maybe started you on this trajectory. Am I right?

Dar Mayweather (31:16):

Yep.

Casey Cornelius (31:18):

What would, go ahead, go ahead. What would, what would your journey have been first of all, if you wanna tell more of that origin and story, but like what would your journey have been like without that training?

Dar Mayweather (31:28):

Mm, Ooh, Ooh. It is one of transformation, right? And I think for me not knowing, not having higher education in my life, I would probably be working in a jail watching people who look like me, come in and out and not have any passion, empathy, understanding, or sensitivity to what really is happening to these men who look like me, who are coming in and outta these jails. I, I would literally be the dude blaming them instead of looking at the system and how it’s set up to target them.

Dar Mayweather (32:17):

Wow. Right. In their communities. And so I, I know that for sure. Right. I, the transformation for me is being in the space of RA training, having my first diversity training and being like, wow, like I literally, microagressed the director of housing. Right? Like, <laugh> like, so lemme, lemme tell the story. Oh my Lord. Sure, sure. I we’re in RA training we’re, you know, RA training is literally the most energetic. Yes. Yes. Like is the rah people on, okay. It’s the RA RA people on campus, like, and, and no pun intended cuz you know, RA right. <Laugh> right, right. They, they are literally help. They, I am being my full, entire self. Like I am like, whoa, I did not know that this much energy existed amongst a group of people. I’m a highly interactive person, high energy person, high charismatic person. Very like what I’m known to be is the guy who likes to be around happy people.

Dar Mayweather (33:31):

Right. That is just me. I literally won class friendliest in high school. And so I believe it. No, I believe that. Yeah. You, you know, and, and so I’m in training and I’m loving it. Like they’re loving me, we’re in an activity. We’re hitting the ball, the beach ball around whoever catches, gotta answer a question. And then I’m like, yo, I have to use the bathroom. And they’re like, Dar go to the bathroom. I’m like, I’m gonna go. I love you guys. They’re like, I love you too. Dar. You’re amazing. Right? Like I’m just on this super duper high. And I go to the bathroom and there’s this wall in front of the building. And I jump over the wall, my director end up seeing me do this. So I use the bathroom, I come back out the building and he’s standing there. He said, Hey Dar.

Dar Mayweather (34:13):

I said, Hey, he’s like, how you enjoying training? I’m like, whoa, this is amazing. Like I’ve never been in experience like this. He’s like, well, Hey, I seen you jumped over that wall. Looked like you had some trouble <laugh>. I said, yeah, I jumped over that wall pretty gay. And he looked at me and I looked at him and he looked at me and I can tell that I said something wrong. But again, I didn’t know what I said was wrong because coming from where I come from, locker room talk, all black community, all black, black male community as well. Right. Athlete. We said stuff like that and worse all the time. And so that idea that it’s like, you learn in housing or you learn in student affairs, be yourself, bring your whole self, bring your whole entire self to the space. And that’s literally what I was doing. <Laugh> right. Right. And the beauty of this space was, and how it changed me was his response was like, Hey, well actually let me step back. I said, did I say something wrong? Cause again, I don’t even know. And he said, you’ll learn more about that in training. Whew.

Casey Cornelius (35:37):

Wow.

Dar Mayweather (35:39):

Right. The, what we don’t do when we’re talking about inclusion is we don’t give people opportunity to learn. Right. And that was my opportunity. And when I tell you, we had training, we had two days of diversity training on day one, I went up to him and I said, I said, Hey, can I, can I first apologize to you? Like I had no idea, like no idea that I was saying problematic stuff. And he said, you know what, Dar, I knew you would learn. Now this is my boss’s boss’s boss’s boss. Right. <Laugh> right. He could be like, he is unfit. <Laugh>

Casey Cornelius (36:29):

Get outta here.

Dar Mayweather (36:31):

Let’s change his room right now. Like he, he could have did all of that. And what he did instead was give me an opportunity to make it right. And I did, which helped me again, see, not only do we have more opportunities to make it right than we think we do, we have to put our pride aside to allow the learning to actually happen. And it did for me. And it was happening for me and having somebody who saw me in a moment of mistake as still a person who had potential gave me the wherewithal to see others in that same light. Right. And that’s how my career has been. I have been the guy who says, okay, I totally was wrong. Right. Is there opportunity to make it right? And usually people say yes, because people are kind people, most people in education, at least that I’ve come across in higher ed who work in higher ed, who are students who are in college, are good people and they wanna see the best out of everybody. And so even if that is that moment, that happens, we have opportunity to make it right. And we just need to keep that in the, in our hearts and move our pride to our side. Cuz we never know how powerful an apology can be.

Casey Cornelius (38:00):

No, I think, I think sometimes about it’s cliche to talk about ripples, right. But if that director, that day had said, Dar, you, you need to get out of here. You’re you’re not ready for this. Not only what would you have missed out on, but then the ripples of all of the work that you do, what would collectively campuses, communities, organizations miss out on as well. And I think that, you know, sometimes in, in the work that you do in the work that we do, collectively, people will say things like what’s, what’s the value of a, a workshop. What’s the value of an RA trading. What’s what’s the Val, well, the value can be immediate and it can be decades later. Like the, the, the ripples of all those things are just profound. And I think, you know, for, for those of you who are like, wow, I’m maybe I’m hearing Dar story for the first time and maybe I know him and I didn’t know that element of his story.

Casey Cornelius (38:59):

This is really, and again, someone who’s gotten to work with him now for years, this is what he brings, like this idea that we are all in a growth trajectory and that there are going to be people along the way who either help or hinder that growth. And I don’t know if it has come through. So, so clearly, yet, but jar is absolutely a helper in, in that as well. So again, check out his stuff speaking consulting all the, all those he, he’s a great person for your, your organization, your community, maybe res life trading. Like let’s, let’s bring it full circle. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> Dar can I get you outta here on on some, some fast questions, some fun questions.

Dar Mayweather (39:38):

<Laugh> ah, I’m excited. Let’s do this.

Casey Cornelius (39:42):

Okay. So this is obviously hypothetical because I know you’ve got little ones and all that other kind of stuff, but let’s imagine for a second that you have an entire day to binge watch anything. What do you choose?

Dar Mayweather (39:56):

Ooh. Is it, is it new or old that like

Casey Cornelius (40:02):

Whatever you’d like, okay, it’s your day.

Dar Mayweather (40:05):

I’m gonna honestly say it’s either gonna be between Naruto and Barto from, you know, some anime. Okay. Or the young justice for DC justice league. So not the, not actually Superman and Badman, but like Robin and, and the, you know, young Aquaman and wonder girl and all those <laugh>

Casey Cornelius (40:33):

I think we just got some insight into Dar Mayweather that we had not had previously. Okay. All right. This is why we ask these questions. This is fun. All right. Next one. What’s the most used app on your phone?

Dar Mayweather (40:46):

Oh, definitely. Facebook Def <laugh> and I’m not proud of that, right.

Casey Cornelius (40:51):

<Laugh> you’re like, I’m trying to stop. I’m trying. Is there a close second?

Dar Mayweather (40:59):

You know, I, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna say it’s gotta be between this bricks and balls game or arch hero. Is this like random archery game? Like I just play, I don’t know why

Casey Cornelius (41:13):

<Laugh> I know exactly what you’re. It doesn’t make any sense. There’s no real like, like mission involved. It’s just, you, you can fall into this trap for, for, for minutes and minutes, hours and hours. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> all right. Here’s a big one. Who would you most like to have dinner with?

Dar Mayweather (41:31):

Ooh, I always, I have always thought of this and he has always changed over the years. You know, initially it would’ve been will Smith, you know, I think he’s probably just on vacation, not taking dinners right now. Right. <laugh> it, it is definitely it’s definitely, Shaq is one of ’em. I, I can’t even come down to one. Right. So it’s definitely Shaq. Melissa Harris, Perry is somebody who I highly look up to scholar, entrepreneur journalist educator, right. Faculty member. It would be Michael Eric Dyson for sure. Would love to sit down with, with him. You know, Barack and Michelle are on that list. You know, I don’t wanna do them individually. Like I want them to be together and I want to also my wife to be there as well. Yeah. and then randomly, for some reason, I’ve always wanted to meet ludicrous. I don’t know. He’s not like my favorite rapper. You know, it’s not like, you know, but I just feels like he’s an open book, right? Yes. Even though my favorite rapper is JayZ, I don’t feel like J like, I feel like I would have to pull out Jay-Z in that space. Like, I don’t feel, you know what I mean? <Laugh> I love Jay-Z sure, but I know he’s a very private person. He, but he’s a high level thinker as well. So, you know, he would be on the list as well, too.

Casey Cornelius (43:03):

And if it were ludicrous, of course, you’d have to have dinner in

Dar Mayweather (43:07):

Atlanta,

Casey Cornelius (43:07):

Atlanta that, yeah, there

Dar Mayweather (43:08):

You go. And we gotta have chicken and beer. I don’t know. That’s

Casey Cornelius (43:11):

The, that’s the only, that’s the only answer. That’s the only answer by the way, really random and like nerdy that I know this, the Obama’s when when they were in the white house actually did dinners with like random people. Like there’s actually videos on YouTube of them just having dinner randomly with folks that they would just get to, to chat with. Like that was kind of their, their their blow off, you know, that, that kind of stuff really cool. I agree with you. That would, that would be a fun experience.

Dar Mayweather (43:39):

Y you know as a speaker, right? Like what we, what I’m learning is that N noticing life is important, right? You can learn from every single moment in life. And so being in a bubble like that, I’m sure having people, just random people and hearing their stories gets you the chance to just steep, stay humble. Right. Keep, keep your, your mind and growing, because that’s a bubble <laugh> right. That is one bubble

Casey Cornelius (44:11):

That you and being maybe around more windows than mirrors. Ah, I just see, I just did it. There you go.

Dar Mayweather (44:17):

I like, so you like the analogy you

Casey Cornelius (44:19):

Like, I, I do. I do. I I’m, I’m not gonna steal it, but I might use it from time to time. I don’t know. I don’t know. All right. So dart, what do you do to wind down? Do you have any rituals? Do you have any like signals in your mind that like, Hey, it’s been a long day now it’s time to relax. What do you do to wind down?

Dar Mayweather (44:39):

Yeah. honestly, one thing that I have been doing that really makes me tired is work on my dissertation. <Laugh> so that does make me tired. Right. but, but that is not thing that I, I actually personally would choose to wind down. I, I love working out getting the good lifting or riding the exercise bike would be amazing if I can just have that just a 20 minute, maybe even 10 minute, just pump, you know, get some pull ups in or hit the cables that always gets me like ready for bed, a shower. You know, I’d be honest and say, like, I was that college student that was like, I only take a shower if I worked out. Right. Like <laugh>, it’s like, right. And so now as an older, you know, older, mature man with children and a wife, like I’m like a shot, I need maybe one, two. Yep. I’ll take a bath. Like I just need to get my body clean, you know, to, to really feel comfortable even getting in the bed. And so a good, a good body cleanse always does the trick.

Casey Cornelius (45:51):

<Laugh> it’s like, I’m a baby. I like that. No, a good, good workout. Get clean, go to bed. I, I like that. That’s a, that’s a great wind down ritual for sure. When we get you outta here on this one and people wanna know how can listeners best connect with you? Like, is there a particular platform you prefer website, anything of the sort, how can listeners best connect with you?

Dar Mayweather (46:10):

Yeah. Yeah. I honestly, you know, I think for, for this community, Facebook and IG is always open doing the good work I’m available. Facebook.Com, backside doing the good work, Instagram, backside, doing the good work, or you can email me. And this is where I tell people, this is the difference between me and other people. Like, I actually answer people’s questions. Like I actually tell you what I’m thinking. Like, I don’t, I’m not gonna charge people to answer a question about inclusion and diversity and equity, because this work is not owned by me or by anybody actually, right? I’m not a gatekeeper to you being a better leader. Like if you want to be that, then it’s my obligation to help you do that work. And so reach out right info at doing the good work or just doing the good work on Instagram or Facebook. And you literally message me a question and I will message you back.

Casey Cornelius (47:08):

And I think one of the cool things about Dar and, and I’m, I’m 99% sure of this all members of our team is that, and I don’t wanna pull back the curtain on too many folks out there, but like Dar actually answers his own messages. Like if you, if you send him an email, Dar is answering it. It’s not somebody else answering on his behalf. And I, I don’t want to like expose too much of the world here, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes you’ll email someone DM. ’em Some, like they’ll have someone running their social media, their email, and you might not ever actually have that interaction with the person by know, Dar is committed to that. Listen, this is a lot of fun. I, I learned things today. I I, I, I am going to steal <laugh>, I’m gonna steal some, some elements of, of what Dar said today, but I think more than anything, it unearthed to me the, the authenticity that Dar brings to this conversation.

Casey Cornelius (48:01):

And that is a person who’s on the journey as well. Someone who’s striving to get better, someone who’s striving to, to do important things and to do the good work I’m, I’m gonna keep emphasizing good work. And again, if, if you have not yet learned about him go over to doingthegoodwork.com go to ForCollegeForLife.com/dar. And if you feel like he could be of service to you, your community, your organization, let us know. I hope you’ve enjoyed this podcast. I have to do that thing where I say what you’re supposed to do with podcast, what he is like, and shared subscribe and all that other kind of stuff. And if you’d like to hear more of these, if you’d like to hear more interviews more with Dar let us know because we want to put out the content that people most are interested in hearing and devouring and, and learning from. So it’s a pleasure for me. Dar thank you so much for being here today and folks until next time we appreciate you. Can’t wait till the next bye, everybody.

 

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